Today I wish to sing my husband’s praises. I figure I will do so now, since I have approximately 4 months to go before I have to give birth and never have another good night’s rest again in my life and it’s all his fault…
So, basically this is about two things he has done recently, aside from the usual being supportive and working his butt off to support us financially and his usual awesomeness.
First, early last week he was telling me about a video he had watched about women discussing the things nobody had warned them about regarding pregnancy. Now, aside from the fact that he watched a video about women’s experiences of pregnancy and then told me all about it, he had given very serious thought to what the women had to say. He had also been listening to me babble on about every article, blog, open letter, column and academic paper I have read about pregnancy and parenting, since he could compare the comments in the video to things I had said.
I think mostly, we as wives assume that our husbands pretend to listen or phase out. I live on that assumption. I’m fine with it, since mostly I chatter in order to reinforce what I have learned or to solve a problem for myself, he just needs to make it look like I’m not talking to myself. (As a disclaimer, when I really need him to listen, I always have his complete and undivided attention). So, to find out that he had been listening quite intently and actually retaining the information I threw his way, was pretty great in and of itself. BUT, here’s my absolute favourite part:
I asked him what he had learned from watching the video. He turned to me, looked me in the eye and said: “I learned that you are a pretty amazing mother.” First-time-mother-to-be’s mind blown
Secondly, this past Saturday we went to our local dairy factory store. While we were standing in the queue, I stood up on my toes and gave him a quick, but loving peck. Being rather focused on us at the time, I only realised after doing it that I had done so just as a teenager was coming towards us, looking right at us. So I mumbled an apology to myself along the lines of “Sorry, kiddo, but you’ll get over it”. My husband merely hugged me close and said, “No, she’ll figure out that after you have been with someone for eight years and gone through some pretty rough things together, you hope they still want to randomly kiss you in public”. I smiled and commented on the fact that we’re pretty lucky that way. At this he turned and informed me that he had realised “again recently” how fortunate he is to have me in his life.
I tend to think he could have done much better, but to know that he considers himself lucky and that he thinks I’m great, is a wonderful gift, every time.
And another disclaimer: Relationships are work, marriages are a lot of work. It’s not always moonlight and roses and romance and cuteness. Most of life together is exactly that: LIFE together. That means he doesn’t replace the toilet paper and I leave my shoes everywhere. It means dishes and bills and laundry and money worries and work stress and sleepless nights and colds and broken valuables and disagreements. But with the right person, as with the right job, work really doesn’t feel like work. When you talk and you handle the little issues as they crop up and you really deal with what the issue ACTUALLY is, instead of arguing about the fact the cats aren’t fed when you’re worried about money, that makes a world of difference. No secrets aside from birthday/Christmas/surprise gifts, no lies. When you can manage all that, even shopping for cheddar cheese and strawberry milk can remind you how very much you love the person at your side.